The Entitlement Trap

How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership

by Richard M. Eyre , Linda Eyre

Number of pages: 256

Publisher: Avery

BBB Library: Parenting

ISBN: 9781583334157

About the Authors

Richard M. Eyre : Richard M. Eyre is a consultant, speaker, and author of


Linda Eyre : Linda Eyre may be the most prominent and popular writer and


Editorial Review

Entitlement is the best name we know for the attitude of children who think they can have, should have, and deserve whatever they want, whatever their friends have, and that they should have it now, and not have to earn it or give up anything for it. And it goes beyond having to behaving. They think they should be able to do whatever they want, whatever their friends do, now, and without a price. Entitlement is a double-edged sword (or trap) for kids. On one edge, it gives kids all that they don’t need—indulgence, dullness, conceit, and laziness. And on the backswing, it takes from them everything they do need: motivation, independence, inventiveness, pride, responsibility, and a chance to really work for things and to build their own sense of fulfillment. It’s devastating our families by trapping our kids and setting them up for failure. Wondering where the sense of entitlement comes from? The answer is you. It’s time for you now to learn what to stop doing, what to start doing, and how to replace your child’s sense of entitlement with a sense of ownership and responsibility. It’s not an easy transition, but it can be enormously enjoyable and worthwhile one that will affect your child’s whole life, not to mention yours.

Book Reviews

"Richard and Linda Eyre are the proud parents of nine children – they have truly seen it all and they have become parenting experts and the #1 New York Times bestselling authors of Teaching Your Children Values as well as authors of numerous other books on parenting. Their newest book, The Entitlement Trap aims to help parents 'raise responsible children in an age of instant gratification and avoid the entitlement trap.'" Momma Blogs Alot

Books on Related Topics

Wisdom to Share

Children aren’t possessed by us.

Ownership gives your children incentive and teaches them the principals of virtually all the values we want them to have.

Sometimes just talking with our kids about the educational course of our lives will open their eyes to what they do or do not want for their own.

Your job is to help your children feel ownership of their talents, aptitudes, skills, and academic performance.

Ownership of education is about much more than grades.

Goal chart that is visible and prominent in a child’s room can do wonders for keeping him aware of and focused on his self-set objectives.

For goals to work positively in our children’s lives, they have to set them for themselves.

Goals set for us by others have little effect on our real desires, and hold little motivation.

Life segmenting and projecting can be a motivator for kids to think harder about the decisions they can make in advance.

Writing a decision down and actually signing your commitment with your persona signature and dating it, can make the choice very real.

Parents need concrete ways to help their kids anticipate some of the dangers and temptations they will face and to understand that they can own those choices.

Kids are exposed to more wrong choices than ever before.

The more bad examples, bad situations, bad role models a child is exposed to, the more likely he is to make bad choices similar to those he sees.

It’s the thinking through the alternatives and consequences that creates ownership of the choice.

They do something simply because they want to or because they see someone else doing it.

By concentrating on and trying to apply one value for a whole month, kids can lead real ownership of that value.

We want them to grow into honorable, dependable, responsible people.

The real legacy that most parents want to leave their children is the legacy of values.

Remember that this family economy is a reward system, not a penalty system.

Give your attention to the positive behavior and pay as little as possible to poor performance.

By working on something, we begin to feel that it belongs to us.

Ownership, therefore, is the lever that can spring kids out of the entitlement trap.

As parents, we must find reliable methods to get our children to feel the kind of ownership.

A sense of ownership is the antidote to entitlement.

It’s only when children perceive ownership that they can begin to feel responsibility.

We’re exposed to hundreds of advertising that suggest we should have things now and pay later.

Once those entitlement jaws have grabbed a child, they hold fast.