The Entitlement Trap
How to Rescue Your Child with a New Family System of Choosing, Earning, and Ownership
Editorial Review
Entitlement is the best name we know for the attitude of children who think they can have, should have, and deserve whatever they want, whatever their friends have, and that they should have it now, and not have to earn it or give up anything for it. And it goes beyond having to behaving. They think they should be able to do whatever they want, whatever their friends do, now, and without a price. Entitlement is a double-edged sword (or trap) for kids. On one edge, it gives kids all that they don’t need—indulgence, dullness, conceit, and laziness. And on the backswing, it takes from them everything they do need: motivation, independence, inventiveness, pride, responsibility, and a chance to really work for things and to build their own sense of fulfillment. It’s devastating our families by trapping our kids and setting them up for failure. Wondering where the sense of entitlement comes from? The answer is you. It’s time for you now to learn what to stop doing, what to start doing, and how to replace your child’s sense of entitlement with a sense of ownership and responsibility. It’s not an easy transition, but it can be enormously enjoyable and worthwhile one that will affect your child’s whole life, not to mention yours.
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Wisdom to Share
Ownership gives your children incentive and teaches them the principals of virtually all the values we want them to have.
Sometimes just talking with our kids about the educational course of our lives will open their eyes to what they do or do not want for their own.
Your job is to help your children feel ownership of their talents, aptitudes, skills, and academic performance.
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Life segmenting and projecting can be a motivator for kids to think harder about the decisions they can make in advance.
Writing a decision down and actually signing your commitment with your persona signature and dating it, can make the choice very real.
Parents need concrete ways to help their kids anticipate some of the dangers and temptations they will face and to understand that they can own those choices.
The more bad examples, bad situations, bad role models a child is exposed to, the more likely he is to make bad choices similar to those he sees.
By concentrating on and trying to apply one value for a whole month, kids can lead real ownership of that value.
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