Crucial Conversations

Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

by Kerry Patterson , Joseph Grenny , Ron McMillan , Al Switzler

Number of pages: 256

Publisher: McGraw-Hill

BBB Library: Communication

ISBN: 9780071401944



About the Authors

Kerry Patterson : Kerry Patterson is a prolific writer who has coauthored numerous articles

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Joseph Grenny : Joseph Grenny is an acclaimed keynote speaker, four-time New York Times

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Ron McMillan : Four-time New York Times bestselling author, Ron McMillan, is a sought-after

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Al Switzler : Al Switzler is a renowned consultant and world-class speaker who has

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Editorial Review

When people first hear the term “crucial conversation”, many conjure up images of presidents, emperors and prime ministers seated around a massive table while they debate the future of the world. Although it is true that such discussions have a wide-sweeping and lashing impact, they’re not the kind we have in mind. The crucial conversations we’re referring to are interactions that happen to everyone. They’re the day-to-day conversations that affect your life. By definition, crucial conversations are about tough issues. Unfortunately, it is human nature to back away from discussions we fear will hurt us or make things worse. Coworkers send emails to each other when they should talk. Bosses leave voice mail in lieu of meeting with their direct reports. Family members change the subject when an issue gets too risky. But it doesn’t have to be this way. If you know how to handle (even master) crucial conversations, you can step up and effectively hold tough conversations about virtually any topic.

Book Reviews

"Good communication skills can be something we take for granted. If we work in an environment where everyone generally gets along and we don’t have a problem sharing our opinions or ideas, we may not see a need to improve our skills. Every once in a while, however, a conflict arises which requires us to communicate at our absolute best. Often, these are the situations we either avoid, or we fail to reach the outcome we want. These are “crucial conversations,” which is a conversation where opinions vary, the stakes are high, and emotions run strong." The Slate

"Relationships are the essence of life. Through them we interact with the world around us and find meaning. Considering the importance of relationships, it is essential to develop skills in navigating them. By nature we are relational, but positive relationships require effective communication skills that must be learned and developed. Although we have been learning skills for positive relationship development our entire lives, we have also developed behavior patterns that are destructive. These destructive relational behaviors seem to surface most frequently when we are trying our hardest to communicate something that we feel strongly about. Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler define these highly emotional, high-stakes conversations, which reflect a difference of opinion, as “crucial conversations” in their recent book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High." FFCI

"According to Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler — the four co-authors of the international bestseller Crucial Confrontations — how people habitually handle crucial conversations is one of the most reliable predictors of both organizational effectiveness and, conversely, organizational disaster. NASA, WorldCom and the other organizations cited above are cases in point. In each instance, leaders allowed a “culture of silence” to flourish, which made the consequent disasters all too predictable. Yet none of these disasters happened overnight. And the precursors to each of them were witnessed by hundreds — even thousands — who noticed but said nothing. Why? For Grenny and his colleagues, the answer is very simple. Utter silence in the face of potentially crucial conversations (conversations in which the stakes are high, emotions are running strong, and there are sharply opposing viewpoints) is typically the path of least resistance in any organization. Unless leaders go to extraordinary lengths to counter the tremendous natural pressure that people feel to remain silent, disaster is inevitable." Gulyani.com

"Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler is book filled with strategies for communicating in difficult times. The authors have gathered conversations from a variety of settings to help those working with others to master conversations with tips on what to look for in a safe environment. In the forward written by Steven Covey, he assures the readers that “what you learn is that ‘crucial conversation’ transform people and relationship.” Due to my familiarity and knowledge of the results driven work of Covey, I decided to add Crucial Conversations to my active book list." EDWorks

"What I learned from Crucial Conversations is that most of us are letting our emotions and past experiences and stories drive our actions. This doesn’t leave a lot of room for rational or strategic thinking at times that matter most. Use Crucial Conversations as a tool to help you prepare for that next big conversation. In fact, you may want to start practicing each chapter a week at a time so that you’ll be prepared the next time someone says 'Can we talk?'" Small Business Trends

Books on Related Topics

Wisdom to Share

Each of us enters conversations with our own opinions, feelings, theories and experiences about the topic at hand.

When people feel comfortable speaking up, the shared pool can dramatically increase a group’s ability to make better decisions.

If you can’t get yourself right, you’ll have a hard time getting dialogue right.

Find a shared goal and you have both a good reason and a healthy climate for talking.

The disrespect you carry in your head creeps out in one unfortunate gesture.

When people aren’t involved, when they sit back quietly during touchy conversations, they’re rarely committed to the final decision.

When we ask ourselves what we really want, we affect our entire physiology.

When others misinterpret your purpose or intent, rebuild safety by using contrasting.

There’s an intermediate step between what others do and how we feel.

Since we and only we are telling the story, we can take back control of our own emotions by telling a different story.

Facts provide a safe beginning.

Eventually, we may want to share our conclusions, but we certainly don’t want to open up with a controversy.

Facts alone are rarely worth mentioning.

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A crucial confrontation consists of a face-to-face accountability discussion. Someone has disappointed you and you talk to him or her directly. All crucial confrontations start with the question: Why didn’t you do what you were supposed to do? And they only end when a solution is reached and both parties are
Crucial Confrontations

A crucial confrontation consists of a face-to-face accountability discussion. Someone has disappointed you and you talk to him or her directly. All crucial confrontations start with the question: Why didn’t you do what you were supposed to do? And they only end when a solution is reached and both parties are