We won’t teach you how to be a psychotherapist. The book will, we think, help you gain some confidence and competence in listening and responding to someone as they describe one of those challenging situations that come up for anyone and everyone from time to time. Some people think of helping as taking over, giving advice, lending money, or saying “There, there.” Any one of these could be truly helpful, but the odds of them working are discouragingly low if that’s how you start. You know that it’s worked if you can be together without their problem becoming the main topic of conversation over and over again. Or, if it does come up, it’s only to acknowledge that they are continuing to follow their plan. You know it has worked when you have more time and energy available to manage the other obligations in your life.
"Ranieri and Gurkoff’s combined experience leads to helpful case studies on identifying and dealing with friends going through all sorts of problems. First, three basic requirements must be assessed: a mutual desire of both parties to help and be helped, a defined relationship between the two and an established time commitment." KIRKUS REVIEW
You can’t win long-term loyal friends and customers just by smiling, remembering people’s names, and paying compliments. It’s not all about you. At every turn, the most powerful benchmarks of success involve relationships in which focus is on helping others. That type of focus generates what we call Return on Relationships
We have all done it. Been indecisive when a decision was called for, said yes when we meant to say no, and found ourselves out of time, out of energy, and out of sorts. It's time to stop being indecisive and start making clear decisions. Why? Because it's not helpful, not
Ken Watanabe originally wrote Problem Solving 101 for Japanese schoolchildren. His goal was to help shift the focus in Japanese education from memorization to critical thinking, by adapting some of the techniques he had learned as an elite McKinsey consultant.
We all face bosses who micromanage or take credit for our work, along with peers who become resentful of our promotion. Such work environment would make us feel unfulfilled and disengaged. Others, however, know that relationships at work are the key to success and well-being, and are ultimately critical to the
The second reason is that when people are feeling vulnerable, they can be reluctant to do something they haven’t done before.
Longstanding problems don’t arise overnight, and they won’t disappear overnight.In reality, a change of 15% makes a significant difference.
Confronting presents a way to end the cycle of denial and evasion and set the stage for real change to occur.
Confrontation means that there’s another way to interpret the situation.Think of confrontation as a reality check.
By asking a series of questions, you get from the general to the specific.For many problems, there can be a number of potential goals.
Your goal in listening to help is to gain an understanding of the whole picture so that you can put the problem into perspective.
How Can I Help? helps you gain some confidence and competence in listening and responding to someone.