No-Drama Discipline
The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind (Mindful Parenting)
Editorial Review
Do you ever find yourself asking, after an especially agonizing interaction with your kids, “Can’t I do better than this? Can’t I handle myself better, and be more effective parent? Can’t I discipline in ways that calm the situation rather than create more chaos?” You want the bad behavior to stop, but you want to respond in a way that values and enhances your relationship with your children. You want to build your relationship, not damage it. You want to create less drama, not more. You can! You can discipline in a way that’s high on relationship, high on respect, and low on drama and conflict. The word “discipline” comes directly from the Latin word Disciplina which means to teach and give instructions. These days, most people associate only punishment or consequences with the practice of discipline. Punishment might shut down a behavior in the short term, but teaching offers skills that last a lifetime. Effective discipline allow us to help our children understand what it means to manage their emotions, to control their own impulses, to consider others’ feelings, to think about consequences to make thoughtful decisions, and much more. We’re helping them develop their brains and become people who are better friends, better sons and daughters, and better human beings. Then, one day, better parents themselves.
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Wisdom to Share
When your child’s emotions are exploding all over the place, one of the least effective things we can do is to talk and talk, trying to get him to understand the logic of our position.
One of the quickest ways to communicate safety and the absence of threat is to get below the child’s eye level and put your body into a very relaxed position that communicates calm.
Everything children hear, feel, and see impacts their brain and thus influences they view and interact with their world.
There are a few simple facts about the human brain and the way it can impact our disciplinary decisions when our kids misbehave.
As a result of the words we use and the actions we take, children’s brains will actually change, and be built, as they undergo new experiences.
Neuroplasticity shows that the brain is amazingly changeable and adaptive across a lifetime. You can change the way you discipline at any age—yours or your child’s.
Your child’s sensory system takes in your body language and words and detects threat, which biologically sets off the neural circuitry that allows him to survive a threat.
Comprehending that the brain is changing and still developing can move us to a place where we can listen to our kids with more understanding and compassion.
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