Self-Reg

How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life

by Dr. Stuart Shanker

Number of pages: 320

Publisher: Penguin

BBB Library: Parenting

ISBN: 978-0143110415



About the Author

Stuart G. Shanker is a research professor emeritus of philosophy and psychology at York University, the founder/CEO of The MEHRIT Centre, and an author and speaker. He has been called an expert on child self-regulation in schools.

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Editorial Review

Self-Reg will show you where to stand: how to bring your child’s behavior into focus, respond to your child’s needs, and help your child help himself. It will strengthen your relationships. This is not about getting your child to “behave”-to stop doing or saying things that irritate you or others or create problems for himself. Self-Reg is about making a dramatic difference in mood, concentration, and the ability to make friends, feel empathy, and develop the higher values and virtues that are vital to your child’s long-term well-being.

Book Reviews

“Shanker explains that self-regulation is an important part in helping children thrive, both emotionally and socially, and in his book, he offers tips for parents on how they can stop managing their kids and instead help their kids manage themselves.”- Washington's Top News

“But if the stressed populations most in need of this book’s lessons can find the time to read it, they will appreciate its potential to bring the minds of both parent and child to a state of heightened attentiveness with minimal anxiety.” – Publishers Weekly

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Wisdom to Share

If you fail-when you fail!-try harder!

When children are under too much stress from many varied sources, they generally can’t tell us in words, but they show it in their behavior, their moods, and their inability to listen or to get along with other children.

Stress drains their fuel tank, they rely on adrenaline and cortisol to keep themselves going.

As a parent, you respond to your baby’s needs in the same way that you respond to your own.

Children find strong negative emotions frightening and draining and, as we’ve seen, will try to bottle them up.

To help our children grow emotionally, we need to help them express what they’re feeling and feel safe doing so.

We need others. Our brains need other brains. Not just when we are babies but throughout our lives.

The baby’s reaction is an automatic response governed by an alarm system housed in the middle of the brain.

Protecting the innocent from bullying is not just a natural human response but a necessary one.

Bullying hurts everyone; not just the victim but the bully and the witnesses as well.