Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World

Seven Building Blocks for Developing Capable Young People

by H. Stephen Glenn , Jane Nelsen

Number of pages: 256

Publisher: Harmony

BBB Library: Parenting

ISBN: 978-0761511281

About the Authors

H. Stephen Glenn : H. Stephen Glenn was a brilliant, charismatic person who was dedicated


Jane Nelsen : Dr. Jane Nelsen is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor


Editorial Review

By many standards, the world is a much better today than it was forty years ago. Still, in the past, we could assume that children growing up, if they survived physically, would be equipped with the capabilities to act in their own behalf and pursue opportunities as adults. Today, when the world offers far more and greater opportunities for achievement and success than ever before, the rising generation seems less capable than the generation of the thirties to take advantage of the opportunities open to them. It is clear that some of the fundamental values that served us so well in the past are absent or severely underdeveloped in a large percentage of young people.

Book Reviews

“This book stresses the importance of dialog between parent and child, which any parent knows is more easily stated than done. Yet by treating your child as a unique, subjective, and sensitive being, rather than a possession, jabberwocky, or little devil put on earth to make your life stressful, some steps in the right direction can be made.” — Renaissance Universal

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Wisdom to Share

Today, by comparison, children often seem critically deficient in resources for effective living.

Our job on behalf of our children today is to equip them with the capabilities that no longer accrue automatically from daily life.

Perhaps the challenge we face as the rearers and educators of young people is stated best by Eric Hoffer: “In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.”

Perceptions are keys to attitudes, motivation, and behavior. If we think we can, we will. If we think we can’t, we won’t.

Perceptions need to be supported and challenged to change: When people are challenged in an environment in which they feel no support, all their energy goes into defending themselves.

When we act on limiting assumptions, we ignore the most beautiful characteristic of human beings, which is the ability to learn and change from day to day.

Assuming we know how our spouse or children will respond is disrespectful and always leads to anger and frustration.

When we encourage or allow people to work on things and/or try to deal with them, we need to then follow up by asking questions such as “What is your understanding of what was happening?”

It is much easier to step in and tell children to do things our way than to invite their participation and contributions and accept that they might do things differently.

Human beings are basically very independent creatures who demand a certain level of respect for their uniqueness.

To help children grow and gain the tools they need to succeed in life, we must tell them specifically what they did well.

Many parents and teachers are afraid to give up their controlling, authoritarian methods because they believe the only alternative is irresponsible permissiveness.

Apologies are only effective when we genuinely recognize that we have behaved in an ineffective manner and want to take steps toward correction.

The first requirement to making judgments is knowing how to analyze situations and which questions to ask to achieve insight.